Aug 25
2011

Dreamers,

Hopefully, by now you realize it is to your benefit to ask for and receive feedback faithfully.  If you are confident that you are better off to know the whole truth, people’s experiences and concerns will only light your path.  Your success, your relationships, your performance all depend on positive and negative feedback.  In fact, ask for it regularly!

Intentionally ask for feedback. Ask your spouse, parents, kids, friends, educators, colleagues, and anyone that you KNOW has experience or knowledge to share their opinions with you!

Specifically ask: “What do you see my limitations are?”  “What do you see that is holding me back?” “What can I do to improve my chances of succeeding?”  Or, “What can I do for you?”  “What would it take to gain your confidence?”  “What price is success?”

Of course, not all feedback appears useful, except as a means of confirmation you are heading in the right direction.  However, if you are given the same advice from several  people or resources, then give that advice serious consideration.  Don’t let your ego warp your good sense. Would you rather be “right” or “successful.”  If you ignore the majority opinion, you are likely to be alienated and unhappy.

How, exactly, should you respond to feedback?

Acknowledge each opinion and thank them for their thoughts.  Do not argue.  Write down the advice, when and from whom it came.  Reflect on it.  Explaining, justifying and blaming are just a waste of everyone’s time and reflects badly on you.  Use what is valuable; put the rest aside.  If you fail using anyone else’s advice, don’t point it out.  Just take what you have learned from the experience and regroup.  Refocus your vision.  Recommit yourself to the path at hand. Keep moving forward toward fulfilling your dream.

In this way, you will not alienate anyone.  In fact, you will draw closer to those you consulted because you let them know you value them.  You will be a better person for it and more than likely find success!

Until next week….

Steve Anderson, Dream Engineer

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Aug 18
2011

Hello, Dreamers!

Do you find yourself so in fear of feedback that you never ask for it?  There are always people in your life that will give unasked advice; but others, fearing confrontation, won’t give it unless you ask them.  They are afraid of your reaction, so you need to learn to ask for it sincerely.  Prepare yourself to NOT react in the ways we discussed last week.  Then, prepare to be open-minded and plan to consider whatever piece of advice is offered.

How many times have you observed someone going about something the wrong way and haven’t offered your opinion?  Then, afterwards, you exclaimed  [either out loud or to yourself] “I  knew you were heading in the wrong direction or going about it the wrong way!”   You might have been the only person around that had the experience or necessary piece of information that could have been of assistance “if they only had asked.”

People love to offer beneficial information that can lead to success.  Get in the habit of receiving feedback if even for the opportunity to let someone else feel good about themselves and boost their self-esteem.  Either way, you are the winner!

Asking for feedback is a good habit to have, whether in accomplishing a goal, or maintaining a relationship.  For most, it will take practice, because most people like to claim independence.  You can claim it all you want, but the truth is, it really does “take a village”  to accomplish the most.

God created us to be companions to each other, to help each other out.  Are you always on the giving end or the receiving end?  Can you give advice, but can’t take it?  Or do you take advice, but don’t give it?!

Ponder this question this week and observe how many opportunities you have in a week to give or receive feedback.  Decide for yourself if the habit of giving and receiving feedback will benefit you.

Until Later….

Steve Anderson

Your Dream Engineer

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Aug 11
2011

Today, Dreamers, I would like you to ask yourself  “How do I most often react to feedback.”    Be honest with yourself!

  • Do you give in?  Do you say to yourself—“this is too hard.”
  • Do you get mad at the person who gives you their opinion?
  • Do you choose to ignore the feedback?

If you said “yes” to any of these responses, then you have made a grave mistake.  You can improve yourself and be a happier person if you just adjust your reactions to negative feedback, say nothing of having a much better chance to reach your goals!

If you give in to negative opinions, you will never get anywhere in life and your self-esteem will be ever-so-low!  Learn to not take feedback personally.  Listen, learn and digest ALL feedback and you will reach your goal much faster and be a happier person.

If you just get angry at whoever goes against your plans and ideas, then all you will accomplish is pushing that person away.  Have you considered the person is trying to be helpful—even if you strongly believe the advice is hurtful or worthless?  Advice is something that can at least be considered…then rejected in totality, or sifted through for the good!

Finally, I suspect many people choose to  “ignore the feedback.”

Using  the “hot and cold” game from last week’s blog as an example, if you choose to ignore the hints (e.g., “you are getting colder”) then you have chosen to either fail or take a more circuitous route to success! Ignoring feedback that could significantly point the way to success is ignorance.

Think about it:  It’s no accident that the word “ignore” and the word “ignorance” have the same root word!

Make a habit of valuing ALL feedback!  Practice learning how to “receive” it!

Until Later….

Steve Anderson, Dream Engineer



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Aug 4
2011

In the coming weeks, we will discuss the benefits of both negative and positive feedback.  It is up to you to evaluate your usual response to feedback and whether or not you need to change the way you respond.  How you respond will greatly affect your level of success in living your dream.

Feedback is both advice and criticism. Anytime you take action, you will get feedback from relatives, friends, acquaintances, coworkers and absolute strangers—some that you’ve asked, and others who just love to give their opinion.  Usually, we value the positive feedback that is given.  What we all need to learn is to value the negative feedback as well!

Even negative feedback points us in the right direction when we are off course.  Rather than responding “you are wrong,” we need to take a look to see if there is any validity in the criticism.

Did you ever play the game “hot” and “cold?”  One person (“the Hider”) hides something, and the other player tries to find it.  When the player gets closer to finding the object, the Hider says “you are getting warmer; if the person goes in the wrong direction, the Hider calls out “you are so cold!”  Eventually, the player will find the hidden object because of both positive and negative feedback along the way.  Surprisingly, both positive and negative feedback are equally as valuable! Therefore, feedback is your friend!

Change the way you look at feedback and learn from both the positive and negative to achieve your dreams!

Until Later…

Steve Anderson,

Dream Engineer

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